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Long Stop

by Sisil

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All proceeds to this single, on June 5th and everyday after, will go to the Portland Freedom Fund & to Don’t Shoot Portland.

Mom, there are a few curse words in here.

lyrics

I am alone in this moment

1 It's the first time people (everyone) has let me be alone in a while.
2 I'm taking a long stop with my hands on either side of the sink while the water runs.


1 There is a measuring cup in the sink.
It's plastic, and it has raised lines on the outside to mark ounces. It reminds me of holding onto your arms.


1 I know this is an odd moment for my mind to wander here, i mean, its been years, almost a decade… fuck.


1 I've been okay. Better than people seem to think.
I've been doing normal things. Normal for someone in my position and normal for me, i mean.
2 I've been reading pretty regularly, and going out to breakfast with my sister once a month. Did I do that when you were here?
3 I've been going on the same walks we used to go on through that park on the other side of the freeway, the one I could never remember the name of.
4 I used to walk with you, and I walked with him there too…
I actually don't know if i miss him.

Maybe I'm not okay.


I do miss you though.

1 Not actively, and not in a preoccupying kind of way, and not until about fifteen seconds ago, when I had a flash back to running my fingers over scars.
(falls apart)

1 But i miss the way your skin felt when i was twenty and drunk and all i wanted to do was kiss you and fuck you and let you hold me, curled up in your lap.
2 Sometimes I forget how small I was back then.
I guess it was all the cigarettes.

End

credits

released June 5, 2020
Written and performed by Sisíl, April 2020

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about

Sisil Portland, Oregon

Experimental rock & roll from Portland, Oregon.

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